So, my book has been in the hands (or more likely sitting in a pile somewhere in a dark closet) of a publisher for well over a month now. And you know what I keep thinking?
I can't wait to get my rejection letter.
Mental, I know! But in my own defense it caught be off guard as well. Do I want to be rejected? No. Realistically though I think I will be. It's not sad - it's just true. But for me having that letter in my hand will make it all feel real.
Right now it does not feel real at all. I have this vague memory of putting my query packet together. Of sealing the envelope. And of driving to the post office and mailing it. Right now it all feels very dream like. Very surreal.
So having the envelope in my hands - even if the contents is a rejections - will make it seem real to me.
The other thing that surprises me is I am not afraid of being rejected. I suppose it is because through the years I have developed a philosophy that I cannot define myself by what others think of me. I try to live my life by it - but frankly I am surprised that it is going so well in this instance.
Am I insane to be looking forward to being rejected? Are you afraid of rejection? Why or why not?